Besides reading and calculating there are some more life essential skills. Organisations like UNICEF, WHO and others collected different terms and concepts. The interplay and interaction of these social skills make for a great life. The should be taught to us in families, kindergartens, schools, universities and workplaces.


reflecting yourself


1. In dealing with yourself:

Name: Self-esteem

Wiki: In sociology and psychology, self-esteem reflects a person's overall subjective emotional evaluation of his or her own worth. It is a judgment of oneself as well as an attitude toward the self. Self-esteem encompasses beliefs about oneself, (for example, "I am competent", "I am worthy"), as well as emotional states, such as triumph, despair, pride, and shame.

How to obtain: You have to love yourself, recognize that you are worthy of everything positive. Don´t compare yourself to others or when then don´t be so hard on yourself. Focus your mind on your positive characteristics. Most of our self-esteem is build in our childhood, but it changes with the experiences we make in our life. For better or for worse. So keep track of your positive adventures and repeat what is good for you.

Name: Self-efficacy

Wiki: Self-efficacy, also referred as personal efficacy, is confidence in one's own ability to achieve intended results. Psychologists have studied self-efficacy from several perspectives, noting various paths in the development of self-efficacy; the dynamics of self-efficacy, and lack thereof, in many different settings; interactions between self-efficacy and self-concept; and habits of attribution that contribute to, or detract from, self-efficacy.

Self-efficacy affects every area of human endeavor. By determining the beliefs a person holds regarding his or her power to affect situations, it strongly influences both the power a person actually has to face challenges competently and the choices a person is most likely to make. These effects are particularly apparent, and compelling, with regard to behaviors affecting health.

How to obtain: Start small, finish little tasks and deepen your competence. You will soon realize that you are capable to make a change and have an impact. More experiences of success will be your foundation.

Name: Introspection

Wiki: Introspection is the examination of one's own conscious thoughts and feelings. In psychology, the process of introspection relies exclusively on observation of one's mental state, while in a spiritual context it may refer to the examination of one's soul. Introspection is closely related to human self-reflection and is contrasted with external observation.

Introspection generally provides a privileged access to our own mental states, not mediated by other sources of knowledge, so that individual experience of the mind is unique. Introspection can determine any number of mental states including: sensory, bodily, cognitive, emotional and so forth.

How to obtain: Take time to reflect your thoughts, actions and feelings. Spend time with your own mind and think about yourself.

Name: Discipline

Wiki: Discipline is action or inaction that is regulated to be in accordance (or to achieve accord) with a system of governance. Discipline is commonly applied to regulating human and animal behavior, and furthermore, it is applied to each activity-branch in all branches of organized activity, knowledge, and other fields of study and observation. Discipline can be a set of expectations that are required by any governing entity including the self, groups, classes, fields, industries, or societies.

How to obtain: Be reliable to yourself and others. Do what you say. Don't let distractions keep you away from what you want to do or what you should do.


reflecting yourself


2. In dealing with others:

Name: Altruism

Wiki: Altruism or selflessness is the principle or practice of concern for the welfare of others. It is a traditional virtue in many cultures and a core aspect of various religious traditions and secular worldviews, though the concept of "others" toward whom concern should be directed can vary among cultures and religions. Altruism or selflessness is the opposite of selfishness. The word was coined by the French philosopher Auguste Comte in French, as altruisme, for an antonym of egoism. He derived it from the Italian altrui, which in turn was derived from Latin alteri, meaning "other people" or "somebody else".

How to obtain: Fix your focus from yourself to others. Offer your help to others and do not be afraid to be rejected.

Name: Empathy

Wiki: Empathy is the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing from within the other person's frame of reference, i.e., the capacity to place oneself in another's position. There are many definitions for empathy that encompass a broad range of emotional states. Types of empathy include cognitive empathy, emotional empathy, and somatic empathy.

How to obtain: Usually we are born with or without a different level of empathy. Try to capture the emotions of another person and deepen your sense of empathy. But don´t drown in it and be careful not to be manipulated by it.

Name: Ability to compromise

Wiki: To compromise is to make a deal between different parties where each party gives up part of their demand. In arguments, compromise is a concept of finding agreement through communication, through a mutual acceptance of terms - often involving variations from an original goal or desires.

Extremism is often considered as antonym to compromise, which, depending on context, may be associated with concepts of balance and tolerance. In the negative connotation, compromise may be referred to as capitulation, referring to a "surrender" of objectives, principles, or material, in the process of negotiating an agreement. In human relationships, "compromise" is frequently said to be an agreement with which no party is happy because the parties involved often feel that they either gave away too much or that they received too little.

How to obtain: Check what is more important in an agreement. Sometimes the result is more worth then being stubborn.

Name: Knowledge of human nature

Wiki: Knowledge of human nature is the ability to correctly assess the behavior or character of people based on a first impression, and to gauge how they think and predict how they will act.

Life experience, intuition, intelligence, and wisdom are the decisive factors which contribute to this ability. Knowledge of human nature is not innate, but is acquired through frequent contact with people and experience with many different people.

Knowledge of human nature can be used to judge people correctly, to motivate them, to give other people good advice, to deepen relationships, etc. However, it can also be used to exploit people to one's own advantage, for example, if one wants to persuade people, to seduce them, or to sell them something.

How to obtain: Observe the people around you and see if your first assessment matches the actual nature of a person. If you want to know more then read about Myers–Briggs Type Indicator, Big Five personality traits and Enneagram of Personality

Name: Perception

Wiki: Perception is the organization, identification, and interpretation of sensory information in order to represent and understand the presented information, or the environment.

All perception involves signals that go through the nervous system, which in turn result from physical or chemical stimulation of the sensory system. For example, vision involves light striking the retina of the eye, smell is mediated by odor molecules, and hearing involves pressure waves. Perception is not only the passive receipt of these signals, but it's also shaped by the recipient's learning, memory, expectation, and attention.

Perception can be split into two processes, processing the sensory input, which transforms these low-level information to higher-level information (e.g., extracts shapes for object recognition), processing which is connected with a person's concepts and expectations (or knowledge) and selective mechanisms (attention) that influence perception.

Perception depends on complex functions of the nervous system, but subjectively seems mostly effortless because this processing happens outside conscious awareness.

How to obtain: Try to sharpen your perception by doing things even the "little" things very consciously.

Name: Toleration

Wiki: Toleration is the acceptance of an action, object, or person which one dislikes or disagrees with, where one is in a position to disallow it but chooses not to. It has also been defined as "to bear or endure" or "to nourish, sustain or preserve" or as "a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward those whose opinions, beliefs, practices, racial or ethnic origins, etc., differ from one's own; freedom from bigotry" too. Toleration may signify "no more than forbearance and the permission given by the adherents of a dominant religion for other religions to exist, even though the latter are looked on with disapproval as inferior, mistaken, or harmful."

How to obtain: Accept that there are views, customs and beliefs that could be as important as your own. The challenge is to recognize when this is not the case.

Name: Respect

Wiki: Respect is the idea of acknowledging ones feelings, listening to others, and liking someone because of their qualities, actions, and achievements.

Some people may earn the respect of individuals by assisting others or by playing important social roles. In many cultures, individuals are considered to be worthy of respect until they prove otherwise. Courtesies that show respect include simple words and phrases like "thank you" in the West, simple physical gestures like a slight bow in the East, a smile, or direct eye contact, or a simple handshake.

How to obtain: Recognize the performance of others.

Name: Communication

Wiki: Communication is the act of conveying intended meanings from one entity or group to another through the use of mutually understood signs and semiotic rules.

The main steps inherent to all communication are: 

1. The formation of communicative motivation or reason.

2. Message composition (further internal or technical elaboration on what exactly to express).

3. Message encoding (for example, into digital data, written text, speech, pictures, gestures and so on).

4. Transmission of the encoded message as a sequence of signals using a specific channel or medium.

5. Noise sources such as natural forces and in some cases human activity (both intentional and accidental) begin influencing the quality of signals propagating from the sender to one or more receivers.

6. Reception of signals and reassembling of the encoded message from a sequence of received signals.

7. Decoding of the reassembled encoded message.

8. Interpretation and making sense of the presumed original message.

How to obtain: Practice makes perfect. Like so often ... Improve your communication skills by communicating and observing. Analyse what the recipient understood.

Name: Intercultural competence

Wiki: Intercultural competence is the ability to communicate effectively and appropriately with people of other cultures:

  • Appropriately: Valued rules, norms, and expectations of the relationship are not violated significantly.
  • Effectively: Valued goals or rewards (relative to costs and alternatives) are accomplished.

In interactions with people from foreign cultures, a person who is interculturally competent understands the culture-specific concepts of perception, thinking, feeling, and acting.

Intercultural competence is sometimes also called "cross-cultural competence" (3C) although there is a tendency to use the former for the intercultural contact and the latter for comparison between cultures.

How to obtain: Speak to foreigners and people with a different cultural background. If possible learn the differences, similarities and particularities of the communication.

Name: Moral courage

Wiki: Moral courage is the courage to take action for moral reasons despite the risk of adverse consequences. Courage is required to take action when one has doubts or fears about the consequences. Moral courage therefore involves deliberation or careful thought. Reflex action or dogmatic fanaticism do not involve moral courage because such impulsive actions are not based upon moral reasoning. Moral courage may also require physical courage when the consequences are punishment or other bodily peril.

How to obtain: Speak up, act up when somebody is in need. Get others to join you. Don´t look away. Your guts will tell you when you have to be brave.

The german ProPK has made a list for violent actions:

1. Acting without danger - I help without endangering myself

2. Demanding - I call on others actively and directly to help

3. Look closely - I observe closely and memorize traitor characteristics

4. Get help - emergency call

5. Taking care of victims - I take care of victims

6. To help as a witness - I present myself as a witness.




3. In terms of cooperation:

Name: Team (bulding) or Teamwork

Wiki: A team is a group of people linked in a common purpose. Human teams are especially appropriate for conducting tasks that are high in complexity and have many interdependent subtasks.

A group does not necessarily constitute a team. Teams normally have members with complementary skills and generate synergy through a coordinated effort which allows each member to maximize their strengths and minimize their weaknesses. 

Naresh Jain (2009) claims: Team members need to learn how to help one another, help other team members realize their true potential, and create an environment that allows everyone to go beyond his or her limitations. Teams can be broken down into from a huge team or one big group of people, even if these smaller secondary teams are temporary.

A team becomes more than just a collection of people when a strong sense of mutual commitment creates synergy, thus generating performance greater than the sum of the performance of its individual members.

How to obtain: Learn to collaborate to reach a greater goal. Invest your capabilities into the joint effort. Look for the individual strength and weaknesses and let everyone blossom.

Name: Cooperation

Wiki: Cooperation is the process of groups of organisms working or acting together for common or mutual benefit, as opposed to working in competition for selfish benefit. Many animal and plant species cooperate both with other members of their own species and with members of other species (symbiosis or mutualism).

How to obtain: Same as above.

Name: Motivation

Wiki: Motivation is the reason for people's actions, desires, and needs. Motivation is also one's direction to behavior, or what causes a person to want to repeat a behavior. A motive is what prompts the person to act in a certain way, or at least develop an inclination for specific behavior.

How to obtain: Don´t overthink too much, start doing. 




4. In terms of leadership:

Name: Magnanimity

Wiki: Magnanimity (derived from the Latin roots magna, great, and animus, mind) is the virtue of being great of mind and heart. It encompasses, usually, a refusal to be petty, a willingness to face danger, and actions for noble purposes. Its antithesis is pusillanimity. Magnanimity is a latinization of the Greek word μεγαλοψυχία, megalopsychia which means greatness of soul and was identified by Aristotle as "the crowning virtue". Although the word magnanimity has a traditional connection to Aristotelian philosophy, it also has its own tradition in English which now causes some confusion.

How to obtain: Live by it, whenever possible. Next time someone is unfair, you will stay kind and gentle.

Name: Flexibility

Wiki: Flexibility is a personality trait — the extent to which a person can cope with changes in circumstances and think about problems and tasks in novel, creative ways. This trait is used when stressors or unexpected events occur, requiring a person to change their stance, outlook, or commitment. Flexible personality should not be confused with cognitive flexibility, which is the ability to switch between two concepts, as well as simultaneously think about multiple concepts. Researchers of cognitive flexibility describe cognitive flexibility as the ability to switch one’s thinking and attention between tasks.

Flexibility, or psychological flexibility as it is sometimes referred to, is the ability to adapt to situational demands, balance life demands, and commit to behaviors.

How to obtain: Take your time, think about the new situation. Try so see things in a different light. Maybe ask a friend for his or her opinion.

Name: Role model

Wiki: A role model is a person whose behavior, example, or success is or can be emulated by others, especially by younger people. The term "role model" is credited to sociologist Robert K. Merton, who coined the phrase during his career. Merton hypothesized that individuals compare themselves with reference groups of people who occupy the social role to which the individual aspires. An example being the way young fans will idolize and imitate professional athletes or entertainment artists.

How to obtain: If you stand out, some people will see you as a role model. Make sure, that you are a positive role model.


These skills should be taught and cultivated in kindergarten and school. The lions quest concept is a very good example of how school teachings can be expanded. An interesting concept to evaluate a personality is the Big Five Model.

What is your opinion? Which skills and traits do you consider relevant? Do you have other ideas or concepts on how to obtain a certain skill? 


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